What it's come down to...

Is THIS.

My new pet, I guess.

I no longer have to worry about feeding caterpillars fresh milkweed leaves. Instead, I worry about feeding this broken butterfly nectar. I don't know how it happened: I never found the chrysalis, just this wounded warrior dragging herself across the counter. It can't fly, though it tries. And there's nothing I can do to fix the wing damage, though I admit to a pathetic attempt using some medical tape. I had to try, because someone online said it worked. It doesn't. My pilot husband told me so, and I should know by now he is almost always right. Smart man. He thinks I should sneak this one into the local butterfly garden, but I can't do that! So I go out every morning and evening and feed her, and she is thriving 10 days and counting. As a September hatchling, I suppose she could live for months.

It's sad, but not as sad as what became of the chrysalis on the top of this picture, the one hanging off the edge of the shelf.

It came out too early in the morning for me to see, but it could not hold on to fill its wings, and I found it crumpled like a tissue, dying. I pressed the wings out for the picture, and discovered the coloration defect in the wing, which may have been part of the problem.
These broken babies have taught me to accept what happens, regardless of what I wanted to happen, to focus on the good, not the bad. They have taught me that an infinite number of things can go right or wrong for any species, and to be very grateful when anything does go right. I have a dark streak that wants to worry about how quickly a windshield might have smashed the healthy ones I set free, but I try to quell that voice with happy thoughts of them flying away in the sunshine.

But this chrysalis...

...hatched into this beautiful female. She flew free just this morning. I have learned to sex them, and it is very easy. Males have a black dot in the middle of the vein on the bottom wings. Oddly, I've hatched all but 2 female, and will do some research to find out if that is normal. Maybe the males really get around.

Two caterpillars climbed up into my aerogarden and I almost missed them, except I saw their discarded skins when I was tidying up the mess and found them very well hidden. I was worried that there was little to hang onto, but they did just fine. They were my most impatient to be released, and I set 3 lovelies free that morning, one of the two males I've seen this season.
And so it goes, in my crazy little world. I have three left to hatch, and I'm hoping they are healthy. As for the mystery caterpillar from last month, it's chrysalis is cold and hard, and I suspect something went wrong. It would have been one of these:

My husband asked me last night how many Monarchs I've released this year. It's only been 6 weeks since the first one, and honestly I don't remember. I thought it was eight, but based on the photos I took, more like 12. I'm thinking next year, I'll let nature take its course with the monarchs and instead, go back to my beloved moths if I can find some eggs or cocoons online. I'm itching to nurture something more endangered and magnificent, no offense to my lovely monarch babies.

Female Cecropia above, Male Polyphemus below.

Who knows what I will do to stay more sane or go more crazy next. Never a dull moment.