So much swirling in my brain, not the least of which, how could I have guessed it so wrong, how could Nate Silver himself have missed this colossal election upset? I kept reassuring all my Hillary friends that we were fine, there was no chance. It took me only a couple of hours of election returns Tuesday night to see we were all wrong. It was red, not blue's night, across the board.
I voted a mixed ticket, based on candidate experience, voting records, and did not vote for a single candidate on my ballot who didn't have some type of civic service record. I voted my conscience and my hot ticket items. Nobody I voted for got elected. I did a lot of research and my normal type A due diligence, but I still got it all wrong.
I was literally sickened to see the election return map start to go red, so I turned off the tv. I slept fitfully for an hour or two and woke knowing and needing to confirm. So my husband and I watched the news from 2:30-4:00 am and then decided the best way to proceed was to try and sleep because we have work in the morning and he is travelling for one of his many jobs and we are old and tired. I tossed and turned. But my brain decided to start singing Tomorrow in my head, from Annie. I could not make it stop.
That song drove me nuts. For hours. But I did nap and when I awoke, it was a sunny day, thank goodness, and my big goofy silly dog was happy to see me, and I embraced that damn song. Sang along with my brain worm, just to help drown out the despair.
I've read a lot of media today, listened to many voices smarter than me. Garrison Keilor, my blogger and facebook and news feed friends.
John Green, who I adore and respect so much.
This video clip where journalists discuss post debate issues that were being ignored, and the concerns they had about this election, and this poorly chosen candidate summed up my concerns and the true heartache of this election.
I'm worried for my cynical and disillusioned kids, with their big hearts and bright brains. What will this disconnect between their concerns and their country bring? Their votes did not count, they do not get the country they want. From what I can gather, most of what they want is good, sound and sane. Kind, inclusive, adaptive. If millennials ruled the world, this would be how election morning would have looked.
I am trying to embrace compassion and patience right now. And focus on breathing. In and Out. Gratefully. And to love the people I love and to be kind to everyone I meet.
And remembering what I said about the other party accepting the results of a democratic election. I would not have tolerated their disputing these results, so I must live by my own judgements too.
We need to listen to each other more, and get our news from the same sources, maybe.
Something.
Anything.
I noticed Hillary and Bill wore purple at her concession speech, red + blue together, one happy color of America united. Or maybe a nod to disbanding the electoral college votes to allow individual votes to count.
Let's all hope for some purple. And that this new president earns the job and title he just got elected to, with minimal pain and suffering for us all. Or that he is thwarted by Congress in the worst of his intents.
Bless all our hearts and this big dumb country, now more than ever.
xo
Thanks for such clear thoughts. I agree with everything you're saying. I felt the same way after only about one or two hours of watching. I could feel my heart start to race and hope falling to the pit of my stomach. I too hope he will be thwarted on his decisions that are dangerous for us. But much of the Republican party refused to endorse him and then voted for him, will they actually step up to control him at all? Hope is pretty much all we have and, of course, the desire to bring about the things that we and Hillary hold dear. And the determination to DO something about it all. That's my 2 cents + a penny more.
ReplyDeleteMy other thought though, is if the purple showed the desire for America to unite...(which I think it did)why did she wear a red pants suit for her last speech in Philadelphia with Springsteen? A red suit? The gave me a feeling of alarm.
Oh, Mel. All of us are terrified, aren't we?
ReplyDeleteAnd yet, what can we do?
Every morning I wake up and wonder how it's going to affect me this day- have I yet begun to move on?
Not so far. But it's only been three days. Let's keep on holding on to each other. Let's keep on saving each other the best we can. We're still here. And so we shall remain.
When I gathered at the Senior Center yesterday with my fellow hikers, we cried and hugged each other and consoled ourselves with fellowship and a beautiful hike into the glorious mountains. I feel better today, but I fear for my country in ways I haven't since 9/11. Someone reminded me that our world changed again with 11/9. :-(
ReplyDeleteYou've expressed yourself so clearly here -- I haven't felt particularly clear for any length of time since Tuesday. It's like I'm in this daze that clears and then it envelops me again.
ReplyDeletethe media has a big part of the guilt of his election I think. they treated him like it was entertainment and went for the ratings instead of doing their job and making it clear to the public how important this election was. mainstream media is a joke and you can forget about the future. Trump has shown you have to pay to play. any news media that want access will have to grovel and kowtow.
ReplyDeleteThank you. So heartbreaking.
ReplyDelete