A not so quick catching up

Oh, I've been gone too long.

Busy.

Cold.

Drama.

First, Milwaukee, two weekends ago. Three days of volleyball and fun times with the girls and their parents. Good times, all around, and third place medals too. Before the Upheaval.

Then frigid cold. -20 before the windchill. And snow, snow, snow.

It was mesmerizing watching the arid snow blow across the roads, and I'm glad I can still see the beauty in something so brutal.

I'm amazed at what a person can get used to.

Especially your breath freezing in your nose and throat on days like this.

Look at this pile of snow in the shopping center. It warmed up to 5 degrees and people were playing on it.

I had to smile.

It's just crazy.

This week, 

my car had to go to the shop three times for engine light issues and running rough. The car dealership is not close to my house, so that sucked.

Our snow blower died, so the driveway is a mess and we were getting stuck before we ever got on the road.

I've been crying a lot, over everything, large and small. Missing my dad, which is strange, because it's been five and a half years now. Worrying about my kids, worrying about my mom, crying at commercials, crying talking to people with problems worse than mine. 

The tears will not stop.

Oh and the drama. Yep, crying over that too.

Volleyball Drama. Crazy coach, ultimatums, betrayals.

It would take 3000 words to explain, and I know this because I wrote it out and that's what my computer said, 3000 words, just the facts.

In short:

The facts are simply that my daughter did not want to play indoor, just beach volleyball. 

Her indoor/beach coach made her play indoor or else he wouldn't coach her in beach.

Normally not a big deal, but when you live where we do, and only one business in a 90 mile radius has sand courts inside, you are stuck, so she played indoor, at great cost to all of us.

For those unfamiliar with the midwestern club sports scene, it costs thousands of dollars per season, when you add up all the club fees and required tournament fees and travel costs to play club sports.

It's insane, right? The quest for elite sports teams and the dream of a college career.

Insane. You could pay for a chunk of college with what you spend on the travel club sports.

She didn't want to play travel volleyball this year, but was given no option. So we paid. Because she dreams of playing beach volleyball at the collegiate level,now that it is an NCAA sanctioned sport. So we paid money and she paid with much more.

But then we found someone who would train her in sand over the winter, while her normal coach was busy with the indoor business, very overextended. We thought, why not? It makes her Happy.

I'll tell you why not, because this business is petty and stupid and mistrusting, and her old coach wigged out and said you can't train or play anywhere with anyone but me or else you can't train in my sand. And you can't play in my club. Be exclusive or go away.

Well, give us an ultimatum once, and maybe we'll comply.

Pull that bullshit twice and no way, no how. We called his bluff.

So we were excused from the team daughter was forced to join, mid season, the night before a big match. Friendships were strained, tears were shed.

It was the saddest thing I've watched happen in a long time, 

and I know how ridiculous that sounds, because I don't know what sad is, where kids are concerned. I've been lucky, blessed and I know it. 

But the scars of this manipulation will linger.

On the bright side, we are now free to train with whoever, whenever we want, so that come summer, when those college coaches are looking, she will be ready.

We are already working with the new coach that precipitated all this change, and he is a great guy. He doesn't have exclusivity issues, and his goal is to teach the girls to train themselves once he has taught them all he knows.

I already love him.

He is encouraging and phenomenal and a very talented athlete in his own right.

And he hooked us up with a wonderkid who needs a partner to play up in the women's leagues. Daughter is already sure walking away from everything she knew was the best thing she's ever done.

Except for the 180 miles it takes to get her there and home again, I'm inclined to agree.

New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings. -- Lao Tzu

Yes, I suppose that is true.

I'll keep you posted on the new developments, and hopefully I can quit crying about everything and nothing soon. Maybe if I could just sleep, more than an hour or two at a time. Maybe that's it.

Or maybe life is just sad, and tears are a normal response to it all.

Anyhow,

I've been listening to this song for hours, and it could turn into days. But that's ok. It suits my mood.

Stay warm my friends. 

xo

January Blues

The sky, that is, not my mood, mostly. After the polar vortex, breezy, sunny and fourty-four degrees felt like Spring. Tucker and I haven't been for a walk in over a month, so we stopped by the dog park on our errands yesterday. It was lovely, so blue and bright, almost blinding, and a little slippery too.

Earlier this week, I was a pile of grumbles, thanks to stupid weather- snow, rain and ice storms that left the driveway a sheet of ice. It took hours of salting, chipping, hacking and shoveling to get the cars out, which was good exercise and oddly therapeutic when huge chunk of the ice flow slid free. Once out and about, I was sloshing through inches of milkshake thick snow-mud on my errands. Yuck. Anyway, slogging through my errands, I drove past an abandoned restaurant, Colonial Ice Cream, which had these amazing icicles hanging from the window. It took the edge of my mood, which was a little bleak. This whole stretch of road is a commercial wasteland, empty buildings, closed restaurants and grocery stores, abandoned to build new shiny ones farther down the road. It makes no sense. I'm hoping something changes here in the near future, because it's depressing, so much vacant commercial real estate.  But the icicles are lovely, aren't they?  I decided to be happy about the icicles and try not to think about the slush and mud and snow melt.

Karen Carpenter pops into my head this time of year, singing We've Only Just Begun...... to remind me to pace myself, because winter is just getting started, and it's a long haul.

January is the month of many birthdays, both our moms and my husband's. Another year on the planet for all of us, a cause worth celebrating. In an unprecedented fit of social activity, my homebody husband and I went out to a local bar/restaurant we've been meaning to visit for months, which was lovely, went to a cocktail party with two other couples, which was much more fun than we expected, and had a little birthday party with both kids home, all in one weekend. It was all good.

Cake was the last thing we needed after the holidays, but I swear, as soon as it's gone.........

My husband's new hobby is making beer and wine. He's a chemist, so this is fascinating him beyond reason. He was researching how to make champagne, because I'm partial to the bubbles, and decided carbonating with a soda stream is much easier than waiting months for the secondary fermentation stage. Instant bubbly, and too much wine in the basement, could be trouble for our diets and waistlines. But look how much fun he's having. That man needs his hobbies.

I'm still trying to figure out what my next hobby should be, but maybe this laptop and internet is it. It certainly keeps me amused and I spend countless hours honing my skills. :)

This year, I took the tree down in record time, reclaiming my space and rearranging the furniture. I'm going through a nesting thing I don't understand but I'm not questioning it because I like the results. I was pissed at myself though, to find my favorite snowflakes hidden in the unused decorations this year. I had the nagging feeling something was missing when I put the tree up, but didn't even remember the ones that weren't there. If I had looked at my blog post from last year I would have known what was missing, and maybe where I hid them, in plain sight. Right after I snapped this photo last year, I stacked the other half of the box on top of this one, with my most delicate snowflakes, and there they stayed all Christmas, forgotten.  Oh well.

I won't fool myself again next year, though, and I'll try to laugh at how silly I am and not worry about how scattered and forgetful I'm becoming. It is what it is.

So, cheers to the new year. May we all remember where we put things, take lots of nice walks, discover beauty in the unexpected, and find hobbies that keep us entertained and happy.

xo

What's in a name?

I've always called these extreme winter life-threatening events Arctic blasts.

This is the worst one in two decades in the Chicago area and I'm perversely thrilled that it has a name, the Polar Vortex.

Pearl who lives much farther north than here linked me to the Wikipedia page which made my chilly morning:

A polar vortex (aka Arctic cyclone, sub-polar cyclone, Frigid Twister, and a circumpolar whirl)... 

I'm liking Frigid Twister and Circumpolar Whirl myself. The pictures don't do it justice.


   

Wouldn't you know it, it's believed to be caused by global warming.

So far, we're doing just fine. It's warmed up to -3 and the winds have dropped to 15 mph, so I'm heading out to the grocery store. I have some serious cabin fever.

I've already made one batch of soup and when I get back I'm making another and I'm going to bake something, anything, just to have the kitchen warm and cozy when my husband gets home from work.

My daughter is thrilled to have two extra days of Winter Break from school, but I guarantee, come June, when school gets out two days later to make them up, she won't be so happy about all this.

So whatever you call this, it will pass. Until then, hope we all stay warm and cozy.

Baby It's Cold Outside

Really. Really cold outside.  And it's going to get a whole lot colder.

All our local schools are closed due to the predicted wind chills of -50F tomorrow.

No wonder the dog doesn't want to go outside.....

We've had inches and inches of snow, day after day, and seeming non stop winter storm warnings.
It is relentless. Lovely to look at, but draining and relentless to be outside in.

And for the next few days, dangerous. I'm staying put, except to coax the dog out to pee.

At least we can still laugh at the weather here:

I thought of this picture at 15 degrees:

You know you live in the Midwest when you shovel your way through two feet of snow in December to get to the barbecue.

We won't be grilling outside this week.


Also, this song is stuck in my head since yesterday.

Old school:



New school:




Stay warm out there my friends. It has to warm up soon.

A change of scenery and a public service announcement

We left the cold wintry midwest for the gulf shores of Florida.  It was the best Christmas present we've ever given ourselves. We have never gone anywhere warm for the winter holiday season, and now I am wondering why?

Our daughter was invited to the USA Volleyball High Performance Camp in Clearwater, so we decided if she was going, we all were going. All except the dog, that is.

It's been a lovely change of pace and scenery. Last week we were dealing with ice storms, snow and sub zero temperatures, and this week, we are in shorts and flip flops. It has been rejuvenating and refreshing. Just what we needed.

While our daughter was at camp, the boys went golfing and I went to the beach to comb for shells and shark teeth. I had the best day. The sound of the waves, the smell of salt water, the cries of the gulls, the sun sparkling on the water, the pelicans floating overhead - all perfectly relaxing.

I saw an amazing flock of black skimmers, sharing the beach with a flock of gulls. They lined up into the wind in formation, and I was mesmerized.

 

 

If the weather holds, I'll go back tomorrow for more.

 

I've been sleeping terribly, before and during this vacation.

Besides the standard hotflashes, I'm having blue ribbon nightmares that wake me up and keep me up for hours. My lower back is killing me, I'm having new and exciting arthritis joint pain in my elbows, and now, my Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigois flaring up again, which means when I roll over or turn my head wrong the room spins. So far, no falling over, so that's good news, but it's back to physical therapy to manipulate my head and hope to get those inner ear crystals back in place. What a wierd and strange thing to have wrong with a body. It's a constant mystery, the things that quit working or malfunction as I get older. A plethora of miseries, none fatal, but all draining. I'm an early achiever on the falling apart program. But here's the thing - lately, I don't care. I just laugh, shrug my shoulders and hope for something better tomorrow. It could be worse......

 

In other news, and the PSA part of the program:

 

My sister's dog got bit in the face by a rabid raccoon on Christmas Day, and she, her boyfriend and his daughters and granddaughter have to get rabies shots now so they don't die in case they contacted the virus when they were taking care of the dog. 

 

The shots for the uninsured cost $6800 for the first of four shots, and who knows what the other three shots will cost, the hospitals don't even know, and the cost for those with insurance ranges from $300 to $5000, thanks to high deductables, so it was a shitty, shitty Christmas present. The shots have to be administered at an Emergency Room so they get to pay those fees too. The poor dog is in quarantine for 45 days, and it's a wait and see if his rabies vaccination worked, he still may have to be put down. Just horrible, awful Christmas news.

 

FYI, bats, raccoons, foxes, coyotes and squirrels are common rabies carriers in the US. If you have had a rabies vaccination and get bitten or have contact risk, the cost is under $1000 to get the shots to insure you do not die. If you have not had the vaccination, the first shot costs anywhere from $5000-$11000, depending on where you live and the current availibility of the limitied supply of globulin. It's ridiculous, but true. I was sure there was some mistake, or some back woods hospital price gouging, but no. It is a very, very expensive problem to have. If there is any risk of infection the shots are the only way to risk dying a certain and painful death. So.

 

My sister has worked through her anger, denial and grief and is now in the acceptance part of the program. I'm still in shock and my heart aches for her and her family. Not fair, at all. I'm planning on a visit back east next month, but before I go, I'll be getting a rabies vaccine, just in case.

 

Here's to hoping no rabid critters wander into your lives and wreak financial havoc and distress on you and your loved ones. 

 

And may we all have a safe, healthy and happy New Year.